Saturday, September 19, 2015

To Be or Not to Be....

It is so hard to be content in this world. There are so many opportunities and what ifs. What if I wasn't a mother and wife? What would I be doing then? What if I hadn't stopped using drugs and alcohol? What then? I have been working on the art of mindfulness which basically means that I'm trying to remain present in each moment. Easier said than done. I am either in the past or tripping out on the future, to the point where I am missing out on these beautiful opportunities to just be. To be with my babies as they laugh, cry, poop and shout ;). To be with my husband, him having my full attention instead of wasting mental energy on checking my phone and the latest posts on Facebook (and oh btw, for years I rejected Facebook, still refuse to have any friends due to concern of becoming obsessed, but do belong to some groups which has led to numerous checking of posts daily, so basically......I'm obsessed).

During certain times of the hem, I struggle with specific things, one being contentment. I go off to never never land and think about not coming back. This is not reality even though I want it to be at times. I have always looked for contentment in different places but ultimately I am always led back to the same old place, a place called discontentment, otherwise known as dissatisfaction. We will never be truly content here on earth. We are just visitors passing through. I want to live my life focusing on the eternal. A place where we will be more content than we ever imagined. The apostle Paul was a man who endured much struggle after giving his life to God and he states that no matter what the situation is that he can do all things through Christ who gives him strength (Philippians 4:11-13). He focused on God through it all and that made him content. We CAN have contentment here on earth, but the only way to be truly content is through Christ.

Lord, I thank you for all of the blessings you have provided for me. Please help me to be more content with all that you have given. I know that the only way to contentment is to look to you Lord and to continue learning about you and growing in my relationship with you. Thank you for this opportunity and thank you for your graciousness and mercy. In your precious name. Amen!